I was never one to travel. Even as a child we didn't do vacations. Unless you count the two months my father, (Also James B.), set aside each summer in what can only be described as a pastoral setting. Yes, an annual tour of the hayfields. I was never 'itching to get at it', but, after 20 or 30 years in the field, so to speak, just the thought leaves me itching. We are all shaped by experience, and, I believe it was haying that contributed to what I can only describe as my 'balefull' outlook on life.
But that all changed recently, thanks to Julie Anne Eliza Mackay; the same woman responsible for most of the positive changes in my life. It was her own true self that dragged me, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century, travel-wise at least. It was her idea to invest in our Roadtrek and we've never looked back. Two years of fabulous vacations and even better weekends! Imagine, we can tour North America, and never be more than 10 feet from our King size bed!
When Julie suggested that I leave the province she was concerned that I would be lonely, all by myself in our Trek. I politely tried to hide my smile! How could I be lonely in the place where I'm most at home? Everything I could possibly need is at my finger tips. Well, OK, it may be buried under 5 or 6 other things, but it's all at my finger tips, ....should I choose to dig.
But I find I miss my porcelain most. It's surprising how attached we get to the small comforts in life. Oh, I do have my porcelain fixtures with me, but, until the temperature improves, it's strictly, "Look but don't touch!" Kind of like my first date, but this lasts so much longer!
Yes, I never could hold my liquor, but it's very disconcerting, at this age, to realize that I can't hold my water either! Thousands of kilometres and quarts of foul coffee do take a toll on a man, and it's me who constantly has to pay that toll. This is all complicated by the fact that I'm diabetic. You see, my liver, which was formerly reserved for higher callings, now looks at glucose as it's mortal enemy, and deals with it the only way it can, ....sends it straight to my bladder! Only one thing could deprove the situation, and that would be a five pound sack of Reese's Peanut butter cups. I found these stowed on the passenger seat shortly after exiting Wasaga Beach for points west by my very own Honey! Tasty, but they do raise the glucose levels off the chart. So my 3000 kilometre drive out here was literally a whizz.
I'd mentioned earlier that the distance from the driver's seat to my bed is less than 10 feet; .....I didn't tell you that it's just eight feet to the loo! But, at these temperatures that vision is no more tangible than the mirage laid out so tantalizingly before the thirsty wretch in the desert. You can stop for coffee every 45 minutes, but that really slows down the driving process, and more coffee just adds to the problem. I toyed with the idea of producing my own, "Trucker Bombs", but ruled that out as too barbarous for environmentally friendly me. I won't describe these 'bombs' to you, just let me say, if you happen to see a full diet 7up bottle in the ditch, ....leave it right where it is!
In the end I had to learn to drive through the pain, and, for anyone who may have seen me standing at the side of the TCH during the last week, "No, I wasn't hitchhiking."
The second dilemma I've faced in my solo flight is just that, it’s solo! I had realized from the first that there would be no one but myself to blame for my geographical blunders, and was fully prepared to shoulder that burden. Realistically I'd always assumed that 50% of my love for travelling in the RoadTrek was due to the presence of my co-pilot, my one true love, my very own Julie Anne Eliza Mackay. I may have to revise that statistic to 75%.
Yes, we're separated for the time being, but will be together again soon. I'm not worried about her travelling out here though. This is the same woman who proudly announced, on our first date, "I'm a Hargeaves; I only have to pee once a day!" I know, it was an odd conversational gambit, but, you really had to be there!
That's all for now,
James P. Mackay
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