Where I usually have problems is with the Calgary Herald; the driver for the Herald, Jim, is from London Ontario some twenty years ago, and tends to his job with sketchy diligence. When I arrive, and have questions for him, he is generally more interested in my van than the job at hand; sometimes, loading my papers, I have to ask him to remove himself from the side doors, in order that I might put the papers in. It is Jim that does the counting of the Heralds, and some of the carriers would see him hung for his consistent inaccuracy. But, this morning Jim is not there, and the Herald count is bang on. The Sun count is almost always right, and they include one extra copy to cover the possibility of shorting the carrier, so, usually, I have a free copy of the Sun each morning.
This morning I’m 4 Suns short, (I must add here that Jim sometimes drives for the Sun!), and there are no extras left in the extra bin. I’m a great believer in democracy, so I put a motion on the floor, (pavement actually), as to whether myself, or someone else should be short five Suns, and ask for a quick show of hands. A count shows the results entirely in my favour, so I quickly and happily remove five Suns from another carrier’s pile, and add them to my own. After loading these in my van, I have to go over the invoices and see if there are changes, and also whether there have been any complaints. I haven’t received a complaint since the night of the flood, but am not surprised to see one this morning. Such and such number at Whitnel Crescent, failed to receive her Saturday Globe yesterday morning!
The Globe is not a high demand paper in my area of Calgary; I usually have two to deliver on week days, and 3 on Saturday, but yesterday a new subscriber was added to Whitnel Crescent. I was short a Globe one other Saturday, and, as they don’t leave any extras, I just went out and bought one, dropping it off at the subscriber’s door. I mentioned this to my mentor, Janice, and she said, "Oh! You don’t have to do that!" But I explained to her that I have received a free Globe on Saturday, which I would have bought anyway, so I didn’t really feel out of pocket over the matter. I didn’t mention the fact that I was aware that my Boss, Cathy, was out of town, and therefore, it would be Janice that would receive the phone call later in the day, and have to rush a Globe to the irate subscriber.
So, yesterday, when I learned I was short, I just shrugged and didn’t give it any further thought; not, at least, till I reached Whitnel Crescent, and saw who my new subscriber was. I’d run into her once before, and I can’t bring myself to describe her as a ‘happy camper’; Whitnel Crescent is the end of my route, and when Cathy showed it to me, she informed me that ‘this was the perfect spot to rid myself of my newspaper debris, because there are three dumpsters there. Now, the debris amounts to about 20 sheets of brown paper, and 8 strips of plastic banding, so it doesn’t amount to more than a handful when placed in the huge dumpster. However, this one morning, this particular lady came out and demanded to know what it was I was placing in the dumpster; I told her. "Those dumpsters are intended only for the use of the tenants in these townhouses!" was her rejoinder. "Well", I explained, "the wrappings came off the newspapers that I just delivered to these tenants." That just didn’t seem good enough for her, and she continued on and on; I felt bad for her ....I think that the severity of the issue was holding her back from the enjoyment of an important soap opera! "Well", said I, "have a nice day", and left her glaring in my wake; "too bad she wasn’t a customer" I thought to myself.
Lo and behold my new customer was the same Lady! I had one Globe left and two places to deliver it to, she was number 3 on the list, but the delivery yesterday morning went 1, 2, and 4. I toyed with the notion of leaving the dextrous in her paper box, but held myself back! Sunday’s are great paper days, because there’s only the Herald and Sun to deliver. When I first started Janis told me that, in the beginning, I’d feel that I was losing my mind, but would soon figure out the landmarks, and finally, wouldn’t need the address sheet. I’d really doubted her about the address sheet; I know both myself and my memory, and didn’t expect any miracles from my corner! I never tried to memorize any of it, but was surprised this morning as I dropped a Sun into the box at #92, to find myself thinking, without looking at my sheet, "no need to stop at #115, because they get the post!" Wow! I’m learning in spite of myself!
Everything went smoothly, and, as I approached Whitnel Crescent at 7:30, I knew I was down to the short strokes! To my chagrin I found myself with two extra Suns, the one I’m supposed to have, and an extra. I felt bad for my fellow carrier; but, what’s the difference between being 4 short and being 5 short? I zipped through Whitnel, and, as I was doing the last couple addresses, I watched a young fellow, (and it’s always a surprise to me to realize just how many more ‘young fellow’ now-a-days, than I ever recall seeing 20 years ago!), come out of his home, and walk down to the Sun box at the corner. As he bent to place his coins I yelled, "Hey, Buddy, save your money! It doesn’t happen often, but I have an extra paper today!" He seemed delighted with his good fortune, and I can understand that; I’m not fond of paper boxes myself. The one at the end of Helena St. was a better gamble than a slot machine ....but just barely! I was happy, the route had worked slicker than snot on a doorknob!
I’m also happy about my new job. The company is just a year old, and increasing their capacity by 700%. They make prefabricated units for the Tar Sands, and they do it very well. But, what really captivated my attention was their ‘help wanted’ advertisement. I told Julie about it and she wondered if it could possibly be as good as it sounded. I said that it had to be; I doubt many people would stay at the job if it was mis-represented. I’ll see if I can insert the ad for you;
There once was a person from Saskatoon;
Who pined for more than a job.
They wanted to work where respect was the norm,
and they'd never again be called Bob.
(unless that was their name ;-)
This person has experience (and perhaps not a lot);
Swinging hammers and reading a tape.
If only an employer would give them a chance,
They'd work diligently, and never be late.
Holy Moly! (thinks myself) If that is the case;
We should meet in a heck of a hurry.
For the rest of your life, you'd love where you work,
And your mother would soon stop her worry!
If you have SOME experience in carpentry and would
like to work in a manufacturing plant where you will
learn how to increase your value many times over,
you better get your hammer swinging, tape reading
self over to our place!
We will pay you well, treat you with respect, give you
3 days off per week and provide unlimited
opportunities to advance in your carpentry career.
And you will LOVE IT!
Length of employment:
only until we chop down every tree on the planet
Yes, it sounded too good to be true to me too, but, after my interview I left with quite a positive feeling for Terry, my new boss. Its work I can be engaged in, and, that makes it, to me, more of a career than just a job. It sounds like a place where, when I leave at day’s end, I can leave knowing that, not only have I accomplished something for my employer, but something for myself as well; and that makes for job satisfaction! Even if it’s not quite as good as it sounds ....it sure beats choppin’ corporate cotton!
The other thing I was happy with was the fact that the RoadTrek has worked out just as well as I’d figured it would. Given power from a ‘shore line’ I have no problems living in it with all my gadgets; everything works just the way it should. I had not been happy with turning it into a daily driver, and even less so with making it into a beast of burden. When in Saskatoon I can just park it in that pretty RV campground, put the awning up, bask in the luxury of 30 amp service and the air conditioning that it makes possible, and leave it parked while I make my way by foot or bike. The park provides wireless internet access, right on your site, so I’ll no longer have to drive into town to check ‘e’ mail. This ‘Hooverville’ allows you internet access at the office for $2.00 for five minutes; I’ve never used it, but it certainly seems popular.
Yes, I’ve survived in my RoadTrek for two and a half months, and never felt in the least deprived as to my residence. It is comfortable, reliable, and, with just a little patience and re-arranging, everything works just the way it should. One thing I’ve noticed though, is that the recessed toilet sort of ....raises the bar ....if you know what I mean! The solution to that is, and I’ve adapted to it, that I’m no longer a Pointer, but have regressed to being a Setter! This has taken a toll on my masculine pride, but then, so does 5 minutes on my knees, scrubbing, every day; ....not much to be proud of there either! I find that I take my best shot when sitting directly on the target.
Living alone in the RT, and cast upon the mercy of my own culinary capabilities, I try not to put on airs. At the same time, being diabetic, legumes are very high on the list of things they enthusiastically allow me to eat. They are also convenient, but ....at a cost! I find that, as I wind my way through my morning route, I leave what you might call a, ‘paper trail’; such that, anyone, with a nose for detective work, might track me down with breath taking ease! Not that I know why anyone might want to do that! The severity, some evenings, is such that even I am reluctant, though all windows are wide open, and my fantastic fan going full tilt, to crawl into the fart sack with myself! But, a man has to take the bad along with the good, and, as Grampa Huey used to say, "A farting horse will never tire! A farting man is the man to hire!" Just don’t tell the good people at, MODERN INDUSTRIAL STRUCTURES INC. know that; at least not till they realize that I’m irreplaceable.
James (the B. is for ‘Full of Beans’) Mackay
1 comment:
Congratulations are in order!
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