My world and welcome to it!

There are many forms of RV travel. The most common is going to a destination, renting a campsite, hooking up water, sewers, hydro, cable TV, and sometimes a clothesline or two. Then you sit and bake in the summer sun, swilling beer and developing a terrific peel, with 500 other couples more or less like yourselves. Julie and I avoid these settings. The means we prefer is called, “Boon-docking”, which means primarily, camping without any of those hook-ups, and preferably, without any of those neighbours. It can be in a Wal-Mart parking lot, or a provincial park, or just by a secluded stream by a quiet stream. We’re not fussy. We can, and have, slept almost everywhere.

But my favourite, and what I’m forced to choose now, is ‘Stealth Camping’. That simply means that you camp, without hook-ups, or conventional amenities, where ever you like, where ever you can, but generally, where you’re not allowed. We’ve slept in down town Toronto and on the main street of many a small town. We’ve slept on old docks and long unused logging roads. You may call us exhibitionists, but no ....we pull the drapes. I’ve always enjoyed it on vacations, and for the next couple of months I’ll have nothing but.

I’ve never disliked cops but, over the years I’ve noticed that I generally feel better when there are none of them around. What it comes down to really is that old Monte Python bit; ‘The importance of not being seen.’ If you use common sense, behave yourself, don’t leave any messes or garbage, in short, don’t raise any red flags, most people will not notice you, and most of those that do will presume, (accurately), that you are neither a threat nor any sort of menace. Julie and I have never been disturbed on any of our Stealth missions. However, just the idea of RCMP storm troopers knocking at 3:00am, and politely directing me to move on into the night, has me keeping my light under a bushel.

When Julie first suggested, three years ago, that I treat myself to a lap-top model I almost swooned. It must be 30 years since I’ve been near a strip club. But, as she very quickly pointed out, those weren’t the models she had in mind. We got one then, and both of us are happy with it sitting on the Jotto desk between the driver and passenger seat. It’s handy for navigation, taking notes and watching DVDs while flying down long mountain switch-backs. It is a cheapie. The reason for that is vibration is death to computers. The heads, riding just a few microns above surface of the disk, are susceptible, as is the disk itself. The Canadian army has its own Tuff-service lap-tops that will survive tank explosions, direct artillery hits, and quarts of beer spilt on the keyboard, but I don’t think that you’d want to pay for one. Way more than army toilet seats! “The best thing to do is get a cheapie and throw it out in a couple of years when it fails to function.

But, two is twice as nice as one, and now I have a second laptop. You know, one for routine chores, and one to take to bed with me. That’s literally true. I do have a King size bed and Julie is fussy about what software I run on my hard drive. So now I have an office in bed. It makes multi-tasking a dream, literally. Most important, as this is not in the disposable price range, is that I can buffer it in its case, on a mattress, (and we all know that a mistress is just what you find between a mister & his mattress!), and surround it with pillows when travelling.
Two problems I’ve encountered: I don’t type well lying down in the dark! I don’t seem to have the same energy that I did at home. Yes, I spent last night trying to type in the dark, (I’ve spent worse nights!), but even spell check threw up its hands in disgust! This will require a little thought; perhaps a few LED’s on the ceiling over the bed. They work quite well in the galley, lasting forever, and not a battery yet. Their light is sufficient to read/type by, and hardly causes noticeable illumination outside. I did mention that this is Stealth camping.

The second problem may not be so simple. Despite the fact that, when you enter my home you will see many AC outlets, these are a disappointment for all but those times when you are plugged into ‘shore-power’. A generator is the best answer, but an expensive one. Oh, yes, you can find them really cheap, but the first problem is finding one small enough to fit in the desired spot, that still puts out the required watts. The second, and killer, problem is the expense of having it attached in the spot that the factory should have placed it in the first place. Not cheap, or easily do-it-your-self-able.

That leaves me with three options. We have an on-board 12 volt marine battery which is charged by either a ‘shore line’, or the van engine. This is very good for one night of conservative use, i.e., lights, fan, possibly furnace. To this I’ve added a second, portable marine unit for emergencies. Lastly, I have the use of the van motor with an inverter to convert the DC current to AC. The problem with the marine batteries is that the conversion to AC power is pretty inefficient, and they don’t last long. The van motor works quite well but gets 0 mph when used as a generator, (about half, I believe, of its usual mileage.), and it really isn’t very stealthy is it?

Well, that’ll give me something to work at in my idle moments.

james