'Would you care to say a few words?

I knew in advance that, that when I left Ontario, there would be many things I would miss, and that foremost amongst these would be Collingwood Toastmasters, and ‘Sun & Sand’ Toastmasters of Wasaga Beach. The camaraderie I found in those two clubs, and the warm, genuine people who extended such, I will always treasure. Toastmasters; it’s a good place to grow!

The other evening a young lady asked me if I had joined Toastmasters because I was a good speaker. I had to think about that for a moment, and finally replied, “No! Some people come to Toastmasters because they are good speakers, and wish to hone their skills in a mutually supportive environment. Then there are those who have a perceived need, whether it be a presentation for their boss, a toast to the bride at the wedding of a daughter, or just to put the best face on their every day communications skills. Then there are those like myself, who come in desperation; who have no other choice in the matter!”

I believe that I mentioned that I was raised in a rural, Presbyterian community. That means a community with a more than healthy dose of Calvinist Pre-determinism; everything will be all right, just keep your head below the crowd, your back bent to the wheel, don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself, and by your works shall ye be assured of your own salvation. That meant, for the greater part, that members of the community were reticent, reserved, quiet and retiring; in short, shy! It’s hard to imagine an entire community conforming to that outlook, but for the most part, in their own way, they did. My Father was, for years, President of our local Co-op; it was a job he accepted willingly, and executed with commendable reliability. The only thing he dreaded in the position was the once yearly Share Holders meeting, for there, rather than standing comfortably with friends and neighbours, his hands tucked comfortably into the bib of his overalls, He had to stand in front of a couple hundred of them, in a suit! Let me assure you, there is a tremendous difference between ‘with’, and ‘in front of’! I admire the way he faced this personal dilemma, and he always worked through the ordeal, but brevity was the heart and soul of his presentations.

Julie and I toured the West coast of Newfoundland last year on our trek to Lans aux Meadows at the Provinces’ most Northern point. It is a rugged landscape, vaguely reminiscent of Canada’s tundra regions. What made it most interesting was the fact that the entire area was cut off from the modern world till the 60’s. No road connected them with the larger areas, and likewise, no Ferry service. They were literally a country onto themselves. Great people; honest, friendly, brutally hard working, tough and independent, but ....shy. It’s the old Canadian isolation thing.

Was I shy? Well ....not that I could bring myself to mention. I remember grade one; I was the first in my family to go to what might now be considered a modern school. My older sister, Marlene, went to the one room school at the west end of 18/19 side road, but, even then, I was swept up in the wave of the future, and registered in, what was to me the unimaginably huge, Duntroon Central School. I couldn’t believe all the other kids! It took me years to get over the shock!

In High School they wanted me to go out for football, but that interfered with the harvest and ploughing; I commonly missed the first month of classes for this reason, and generally forfeited the last month or so of school for seeding. Volley Ball was something my Father allowed me to go out for, because, by that time, most of the heavy farm work was done for the year. I think that I was allowed two practises, both disappointing, (to my Father), because after practise there was still 8 miles between myself and the farm. What we called ‘hitch-hiking’ on those back country roads generally amounted to nothing more than a long, slow walk while watching for cars which never appeared.

My only claim to fame in High School was when I joined the Drama Club. Was I nervous about appearing on stage? Not on your life; it never even occurred to me as something which I might aspire to! No, I volunteered as set producer designing, building and painting the back-drops. You will forgive me a little modest bragging; I did on one occasion spend an entire scene on stage. You notice I said, ‘spend’, and not ‘appear’; we were appearing in a drama competition, and the back-drops were disintegrating from being moved from town to town. For our final production I had to stand, spread-eagle, holding the panels together so that the show might go on! It felt good to know that at last I had attained my 15 minutes of fame!

Everyone I think is blessed with a teacher or two that change their lives. I can think of several in mine, but in High School it was Dennis and Neil. Between them they decided that I should go to University, (a decision that I never would have reached myself!), and that Guelph would be the best place for me to go. It was small, and agriculturally oriented. I remember the nick names still; U of Moo, U of Goo, or even worse, ....U of Moo Goo! Myself I simply referred to it as ‘Farmer University’, or, if you prefer, good old FU! I’d like to say that University changed my life, and solved all my dilemmas. Change my life it did! For the first time I actually enjoyed the education process. I did fairly well, got good grades, and came out the other end with my dilemmas intact. Still couldn’t stand up and talk in front of people to save my life!

I’ll give you one little glimpse into my high/low educational experience. It was a huge class by Guelph standards; perhaps 250 students. The professor insisted that he have a couple 15 minutes seminars each week. Naturally not everyone could do one; he selected victims by lot ....I was one of about 15 winners/losers! I don’t remember any of the other presenters being very good, but I do recall one that was a total write-off! I worked, studied, prepared until I knew my material, and finally I was introduced! It is an uncanny feeling gazing out at a solid wall of 500 eyes expectantly gazing back at you! At the very least I wanted to turn and look in the same direction that they were all looking; at worst I wanted to turn tail and run! In reality I stood there for several icy minutes while my thoughts fled like unruly teens upon the arrival of a small town cop! Finally my Professor took pity on me and let me leave the stage. At that point I knew I would never stand up in front of an audience again!

It was an ex-wife who brought me to Toastmasters. It’s funny how it’s wives, past and present, to whom I owe many of the best things in my life. I had been litigated to a financial stand still and, for our last appearance in court I’d chosen to represent myself, and did so in a more than passable manner. I decided that I wanted to return to school and study law. Unfortunately the Ontario Real Estate bubble, back in 1990 to which I’d contributed all my financial steam, popped just then leaving me in penurious dry dock! With no immediate means of returning to school I decided to still work in that direction by joining Toastmasters. Why Toastmasters? Well, I felt that I had something to say, but no way of getting it across; no delivery system! Also, in the back of my mind, an irritating little voice that kept whispering, “It’ll never fly Orville!” But Toastmasters provides excellent flight instruction, great hangers, a long straight runway, superb flight crew, and, of course, training manuals. Did I crash and burn? You Bet! Still do fairly regularly. But each time, with many helping, supportive hands, I was able to, “get myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again!” Where else would you rather fail than amid friends? Eventually, with effort and determination, you will rise from the ashes, reborn; after that the sky’s the limit. I won’t apologize for the Phoenix imagery, but ....it’s a Mackay thing.

I’d like to describe all the characters, goings on, and great presentations I’ve known and observed in both Sun & Sand Speakers, and Collingwood Toastmasters, but the material to be covered is vast, and I have only so much time. Let me just introduce one member from Collingwood whom I’ve known for a number of years, Alice Cowan. Alice is a phenomenal artist and a warm inquisitive person with well thought out views and attitudes. Did I mention she also has a great eye for detail? Approaching the age of 70, Alice is now on sabbatical from Collingwood Toastmasters while working on a publication. For her last presentation that I observed, Alice gave us an overview of various types of barnyard manure from an artist’s point of view. She covered all the bases, touching on colour, texture, and smell of several different animal species. Alice explained that she’d become interested in the topic while doing paintings in rural farm settings. The grand finale of her talk was a step by step overview of how she had pulled one of her major works together. The subject was a farmer cleaning out his stable. Alice explained that the only location which provided a suitable perspective and proper lighting, was that found on top of the manure pile. In order for her easel and chair to sit square a piece of plywood was set in place, and day after day, in the hot sun, Alice, her easel and her dog sat there until the painting was complete. You have to admire a Lady who not only knows her sh... well ...stuff, but keeps right on top of it.

I was looking forward to coming to Calgary where there are 67 clubs, all within 20 minutes or so of my humble abode, (depending on where I’m parked!) I intend to visit them all eventually but felt it would be best to start at the top and gradually work my way down. That in mind, I began my adventure with the Calgary Pace Setters Club; deets below:

Calgary Pace Setters Club -
Club #: 8170, Dist #: 42, Est: 05/01/1991
Meeting Time: 7:30 pm, Tuesday Midlands United Church
250-146 Ave SE, Calgary, AB, T2W 2H9,
CanadaClub Status: Open to all
(403) 256 0688
msbarr@shaw.ca
www.calgarypacesetters.com

I must admit that I was taken somewhat aback at my first visit to this club. The reason for this was that they were having a meeting like none I’d ever seen before. It was a ‘book report/movie review’ evening, and they were quick to inform me that this was a special occasion, not a regular meeting. Each member was to prepare in advance a report on a book which they had read, or a movie that they had seen recently. In five minutes they were to sum up their experience, and give a recommendation to their fellow members as to whether they felt the material worth pursuing. It was quite enjoyable and the members even extended an invitation to myself to participate. Fortunately I had read a book once, (well, actually, I read it twice as I just didn’t quite get it the first time, and, after the second reading, still unenlightened, gave up in disgust!) Armed with this rather meagre material, I was able to extract foot from mouth long enough to deliver, in my usual rambling, shambling manner, a vague overview of “Dickens of the Northwest Mounted Police”. It is the story of Francis Dickens, third son of Charles Dickens of English Literary fame; how he came to join the North West Mounted Police, and the adventures he faced there.

All in all it was an enjoyable evening and a refreshing break from routine; I’d suggest this theme for other clubs. The only addition I might make is that perhaps the participants do their reviews as manual speeches, and receive the subsequent evaluation. My second visit to this club was just as enjoyable and again turned up several gems which I must share with you.

The first is the club President, Marilyn Barr, who greeted me at the front door when first I visited. It was a warm greeting, and in her voice I detected the rich, rolling lilt and timbre of the highlands. At my query, Marilyn informed me that yes, she was originally from Scotland, and had been in Canada 28 years. Hmmm... thought I, must have only been one year old upon her arrival; two at the most. It seemed also that she brought the legendary Scottish frugality to her club, perhaps not as concerns money, but with regards to time! Each moment of the meeting was stretched to accommodate the maximum, many leaving change to be spent on other matters.

The business meeting was quite interesting. Most clubs I’m familiar with have the President conduct the Business portion of the meeting, or, if necessary, the Vice President of Education steps in to fill the role. The Pace Setters though leave the monthly business meeting in the hands of the Chairman of the evening, and I believe that this is a great idea! After all, most of us don’t get to become President of a club, and business meetings are something we all face; the experience is not just good for us, but, I believe, essential. Our Chairperson for the evening really put us through the hoops, attending to not just the day to day affairs of the club, but also motions, and the subsequent amendments to motions, with a deft administration of Roberts Rules of Order. Quick, slick and efficient, without getting bogged down in detail, and never once holding up the flow of the evening. Well done!

As a guest I was invited to participate in the Impromptu portion of the meeting, and our Topics Master played her role with ingenuity and flair; “What, James,” she demanded, “would be your contribution to World Peace, should you happen to be a finalist in a beauty pageant?” Many of you have observed my ‘James in the Headlights’ look as I try to think of something to say while the ‘Beads of Desperation’ break forth freely upon my brow; ....well, they’ve seen the look in Calgary now, and I’m sure they will see it again! Finally, muttering, stuttering and stumped I alluded that if I were in a Beauty Pageant, the best that I could possibly do for world peace, would be to skip the swimsuit portion of the competition! Sad, but so!

The Pace Setters do set a tight pace, and after two meeting I must confess I’m a little a little short of wind; but I’ll be back. If you are a Toastmaster visiting Calgary the Pace Setters offer both education and entertainment; I’d suggest that you make their meeting one of your first stops. If you are a Calgarian thinking of joining Toastmasters, my advice would be the same.

Many of you reading will have no idea how exhausting is the life of the unemployed. This last two weeks has taken a toll on me, and I’m off to Pincher Creek for a weekend of R&R. When I return I should be refreshed, re-invigorated, and fully prepared for another week of doing ....well, nothing!

James, (the B. is for Bashful), Mackay